thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for holding the mirror while allowing yourself to be seen.

Thank you for encouraging me to hold my own mirror.

Thank you for seeing me.  TRULY seeing me.

Thank you for tickling-awake my heart.  

Through you, I learned it was only dormant, not dead.

Thank you for the freedom that you freely display and live that allowed me to dream and revel in those dreams...

even if it was just for a twinkle in time.

Thank you for revitalizing the being that I was

the being I had hidden.  

The being that I so wished for everyone to have seen.

YOU

You saw me with unveiled eyes.

FREE from the principles and ideals that exist in our caged world.  

Thank you for warmth

Thank you for your friendship

Thank you for your unchained, unshackled liberty you live and carry out.

You will always hold a dear place in my mind, body, and soul...

Short, indeed.  

But,

it is only in this realm that we live in temporarily.

Until our next life, 

my friend.

my adventurous partner in l.i.3.e.r.T.a.d.

Encouraging ANA. Seriously?

“We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need.” ~ Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

As I strolled through Pinterest trying to find "healthy" treat ideas for my students, I found myself flustered more than ever with another imposing position our government has taken! The days where parents (not school systems and their employees) were actually held accountable for their children's character, discipline, responsibility, and now DIET have perished.

I'm not one who declares my political opinions in a such a candid and public manner, however, having this privilege I think I WILL use this opportunity to share how discontented and agitated I am with Michelle Obama's "Let's Move Campaign” and schools’ obligatory reporting of children’s BMI scores.

According to a study done by Vanderbilt Law School Health Law Society and Vanderbilt Center for Health Policy, hospitalizations for eating disorders increased by 119% between 1999 and 2006 for children under twelve years old. 119% under 12 years old! I’m not surprised as I often hear my fourth grade students (who have no need to lose weight) name the caloric values of their snacks as if they were reciting the Flag Salute!

Shouldn’t every student have equal access to food and be able to engage in an array of physical activities regardless of their body weight or BMI? Is thinness the First Lady’s measure of health? Should my son who has inherited my metabolism (*authentic sigh) face more challenges to maintain weight, rather than lose because of food selections that have been pre-approved to meet low caloric standards? Should hundreds of thousands of children be exposed to measures that are encouraging body preoccupation and disordered eating at such young ages? Shouldn’t overall wellness, not weight loss, shame, or thinness be the goal? As if pet-food grade USDA approved school meals are any better than a package of Cheetos!

Okay, time for me to "move" off the couch and head towards the refrigerator and eat whatever the hell I want! I'm hungry!

~March 2013

i see.

“As you live Deeper in the Heart, the Mirror gets clearer and cleaner.” ~Rumi

You handed me the shattered mirror
You favored the shards

Edges that lacerated and pierced
my spirit
my soul
my mind
my heart
my body
my vision.

i didn't see. 
i couldn't see.

                   UNTIL...

                                  I turned to the magnified side.

i see me now
i see

i see clearer

i see cleaner

i see

i live deeper in my heart

beyond the looking glass

visible to some

Because 

they see their own reflection

June 2013

d e a d f l o w e r s

rain pours down and no longer cleanses

instead

it drowns the new growth and erodes the soil that had been carefully amended

n

o

r

e

g

a

r

d

for their need of tender protection and cultivation from the elements

they now remain submerged.  

concealed from light.  

smothered from oxygen.

depriving them of nutrients to flourish.

they soon wither

a w a y

Literary Luminary

I can count how many fictional books I have read in my lifetime; most were required for literature courses. 

I'm an unashamed, self-proclaimed nerd!  Especially for any type of non-fictional text; primarily history, philosophy, poetry, or people's personal life stories of survival and overcoming personal challenges.

There are many inspirational quotes that have served as a net through my own personal  life-changing events.  Perhaps I will expand on each quote someday. I hope they encourage and give you strength through your own personal pilgrimage.

• "Writing is prayer" - Reb Buxton
• "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - Shakespeare (Hamlet)
• "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." - Brené Brown
• "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." - Andre Gide
• "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Kahlil Gibran

• "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.  Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away." - Henry David Thoreau
• "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." - Maya Angelou
• "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.  The important thing is to not stop questioning." - Einstein
• "I crossed the street to walk in the sunshine." - Elizabeth Gilbert
• "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung
• "We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another." - Jonathan Swift
• Who am I? (I don't know.)  I guess I have a lot of things to ponder." - Derek Zoolander
• "Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” - Steve Jobs
• "A man who does not think for himself, does not think at all." - Oscar Wilde
• "God has no religion." - Mahatma Gandhi
• "Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth." - Albert Einstein
• "Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." - Pablo Picasso
• "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
• "You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight? Aye, fight and you may die, run and you'll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!" - William Wallace (Braveheart)

Left Behind

Tangled and imprisoned by the one thing that captured her affection,
it overshadows and masks his heart, delicately suspended on its own.  

Waiting.  

Yearning.

It will be left wanting, as he knows not of the freedom she wishes for him to revel in.

Master of mind and of the cocoon, he finds himself irresolute with the unpredictability of uncharted paths.

Limited by his survival techniques, he bids farewell to the butterfly who wished, he too, would have ascended to the skies.

“…when love beckons you, follow him, though his ways are hard or steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him…" -The Prophet, Kahil Gibran

November 2011

The Death of Survival

“When we accept [our need for others] we can behave truthfully in our neediness, or we can continue to defend and pretend, which requires old survival behavior and counterfeit fulfillment.” -Chip Dodd

Although survival behaviors were a necessity for most of my life, I finally had come to a crossroads of having to choose to face my fears or remain on the survival path which had only provided me with superficial and shallow relationships, a counterfeit fulfillment indeed. 

Understanding and recognizing this weakness has been the beginning of new found strength.  I won’t deny the fact that facing my fears of raw authenticity has been as scary as walking naked through a large crowd.  Surrendering to vulnerability is a conscious, willful mindset I replay in my mind throughout the day.  The reality is that control, a true illusion, prevents us from growing, changing, and transforming into who we really are meant to be.  It is the cage that does not allow the bird that exists in us to freely fly in its own natural habitat.  

Disappointments are always going to exist if we want fullness of life.  Guarding myself will not allow others to enter.  I must continue to liberate my mind, my soul, my entire being to experience the richness of what can come from letting go of fear, hurt, or perfection.

March 2011