Puppet Master

The warm blood that once made them human was removed and replaced with stuffing. Puppets. Marionettes. Dolls.  Rag dolls, blow-up dolls, ceramic dolls...all bobbing around the conveyor belt one by one as they lie motionless, vacuous.  They are now fully programmed to wait for their Soul owner to direct their movements. She sets her collectable dolls with muted painted mouths and hollow glass eyes in her ornate antique case as she watches with gleaming satisfaction of her tainted creation, key in hand.

Tornados

Don't fear the violent winds that come through and try to wipe all of who you are.  You can hide in the darkest of basements where you think you’ll be kept safe, but you’ll never be able to enjoy the beauty of what comes after the stormy clouds that engulf the skies...a rainbow that includes the entire spectrum of colors. You never know... an entire wiping-out of all of what or who you once thought were important can be the clean start to your new life.

Erased

His strong hands warm, his defined arms holding back to the one who longed to embrace him, to the very one he made promises to love and protect forever.  He sat on a blanket underneath a large oak tree with a pasted smile as he tried to comfort me saying, “You will have no trouble finding someone else.  You're amazing.”  I didn’t want anyone else.  I wanted him to return to me.  I wanted HIM back....his free-spirited, loving, energetic, and risk taker he once was had now been completely taken, overrun by THEM.  “Stay with me,” my heart screamed into his chest. “Come back to me!  You were with me!  What happened?”  I’ve always described these times as a family member seeing their loved one with Alzheimer’s having moments of remembrance...only to go back to being forgotten.  Helpless, despair, powerless, but still hanging onto the hope that perhaps those memories would be strong enough to combat his decaying mind.   

I was awakened from this dream by my loud and painful cries.   I knew that I had to finally let go because that person was once and for all...g.o.n.e.  Nothing I could DO, BE, or SAY, could ever bring him back to me or be stronger than their voices.  Only an empty shell with glimpses of who he once was remained.  Even then, I wanted to hang on to his decaying body, hoping that the love we once had would be stronger than them.  But it was too late. They had given him a new mind, a programmable heart, and I no longer existed in his memory.  I had been COMPLETELY e.r.a.s.e.d. 

Summer 2010

Lessons During the Storm

There are no regrets in life, as every event and decision we make truly shapes and molds us. Some doors I opened in my journey through this life attempted to distort truth and almost locked the path of freedom.  I realized, I, was the one who held the keys the entire time. So much awaits in the other room, just as long as the other is kept closed. Beauty. Color. Love. Peace. Contentment. Hope. Clarity.

As difficult as some lessons have been in my life, I wouldn’t trade any of them to be who I am this very day: a tree with roots that continue to grow deeper. Storms have come and limbs were over-pruned by many... in hopes of causing this tree to look like all the other trees. Interestingly enough, although over-pruning can cause some malformations, more energy is dispersed to its root system, causing the tree to become stronger and bare sweeter fruit. Strong trees will survive droughts, as roots have a way of finding water. Dormant seasons come and what looks dead will soon flourish with buds when spring comes around. Scars exist, but now fade into the bark, only to tell a story of the lessons learned during the winter storm.

- Not everyone can see the beautiful colors that create black
- Easier your heart to be broken than your mind...your heart can always be put back together
- Better not bitter
- Better to have faith and lose it all than to be hopeless
- Questioning leads to answers which lead to freedom
- Never allow anyone to pick the petals that create the beautiful rose you are. If so, only prickly  thorns will be left
- No one can do it for you, you must!
- You must be complete to be able to truly give and receive
- No man should ever come between two people. Destruction awaits for the one who allows such a thing!
- NEVER allow your voice to be silenced!
- Have a malleable heart, never a mind
- Stand for truth, even if you are the only one
- BE!
- Do not allow any person to clip your wings
- Fly.....because you never forgot how!
- NEVER conform, NEVER give in to what you question.
- The cage is always open. You simply need to be the one who flies out.
- Let go of the chains YOU hold
- There is so much power when you learn to fly on your own
- Sometimes you have to let go of the dead weight to be able to soar
- Some people don’t mind the cage in which they feel secure. You can’t make them fly if  they’ve allowed their wings clipped and don’t remember how.
- Why close your eyes in the dense fog? Better to drive and see what’s in front of you than to see nothing at all.
- Let the songbird sing!
- Flee from what tries to bind your mind, your soul, your GOD-given creativity!
- Stand tall!
- Air, life, freedom, peace, and happiness.....it is worth it!
- Questioning leads to freedom!

January  2010

The Parable of the Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

-unknown